Say someone in another car cuts dangerously close to you as you are driving on the highway. If your reflexive thought is “You bastard!” it matters immensely for the trajectory of rage whether that thought is followed by more thoughts of outrage and revenge:
“He could have hit me! That bastard – I can’t let him get away with that!”
Your knuckles whiten as you tighten your hold on the steering wheel. Your body mobilizes to fight, not run – leaving you trembling, beads of sweat on your forehead, your heart pounding, the muscles in your face locked in a scowl. You want to kill the guy.
Then, should a car behind you honk because you have slowed down after the close call, you are apt to explode in a rage at that driver too. Such is the stuff of hypertension, reckless driving, or even highway shootings.
Contrast that sequence of building rage with a more charitable line of thought toward the driver who cut you off:
“Maybe he didn’t see me, or maybe he had some good reason for driving so carelessly, such as a medical emergency.”
That line of possibility tempers anger with mercy, or at least an open mind, short-circuiting the buildup of rage.
I guess anger is never without a reason, but seldom a good one.
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